Letting Go Of "I Must!"
Happy New Week, sugar!
This week I thought we would build on last and kick up the dust on any stagnancy. Last week I wrote to you about how to keep yourself from falling into an uninspired rut. This week I want you to check out those things that you are (or were) inspired by that you want to give up on or, possibly, already have.
Could be your exercise routine
Could be that dream job you’ve been aiming for for a decade
Could be that trip around the globe
Could be that relationship that just hasn’t been meshing
What has you feeling like it’s time to quit? What has you thinking you are stuck or stopped or lost in too much red tape and paperwork?
Think about what you say is an absolute MUST about your plans.
Let’s take that exercise routine.
Do you say something like “I have to lose 10 pounds” or “I have to exercise 4 times/week or just give up”?
Let’s talk about the job.
Do ALL of those criteria have to be met, exactly that way or is there something about your work now that reflects those goals to some extent?
Let’s talk about that trip around the globe.
Does it really have to happen in 1 year? Could you space it out? Could you start and see how far you get or is it necessary you get everywhere or nowhere?
And that relationship…
Does he/she really have to change that? Do you really have to keep asking for that thing he/she just doesn’t want to give?
and so on and so on.
Having “MUSTs” kill what’s possible.
You don’t have control of any future happenings, so what is with all the rules and regulations that you just won’t budge?
What is having you be so stringent with yourself and your life?
What would it be like if you just let it be?
What would it be like if you set a goal or dream and you earnestly worked towards it without being obsessed with its outcome?
What would it be like if you were inspired and encouraging towards yourself every step of the way?
What would it be like if you enjoyed the process?
You’d have to let go of those “MUSTs” to have an experience that fulfilling and love-filled. At first, letting them go can be uncomfortable and a bit frightening. After a while you see you don’t need those ‘MUSTs”. They’re like training wheels on being free in your life experience. Once you see how easy-going and natural it is to coast and take in the scenery, you can take those training wheels off and just be free.
You’ll still achieve. In fact, you’ll likely surprise yourself…pretty regularly. That’s what happens when you let life unfold and stop being so forceful and hard on yourself.
After a long week filled with questions of next steps and what I want to do with this fall and the end of the year, I spent some time, while crossing the country to California, to think about what has me saying “I MUST”. I found that I’ve been demanding growth and success from myself at a steady clip.
I MUST be creative and witty and engaging all the time.
I MUST shift into my ideal schedule and clientele by January 2017. I MUST figure out how to juggle a new relationship with my already busy life.
Rules. Demands. Perfectionism.
I’m just a guilty as you are.
I need to practice this stuff too.
How do you think I got professional enough to share with you?
I took a cat nap on the plane. Then I meditated for a few. Then, I just took a deep breath and reminded myself how this process has been, who I say I am and how much I have to be grateful for. Then I sat back and decided it’s time to coast and see.
Find relief by relieving the grip you’ve got on yourself.