What's your focus?
What's your "why"?
What's driving the bus?
Who are you being about, well, everything?
As much as your health depends on how you nourish and move yourself (literally and figuratively), it also depends, heavily, on your attitude.
What you think and feel is a primary part of this whole wellness puzzle.
You can't control what happens.
Forget it. You have no control over that, whatsoever.
What you do have control of, however, is how you respond or react to what happens. What you do with your experience relies on who you choose to be.
Our response or reaction to what's happening all around us relies on the attitude we choose to have about experience as a whole.
A response is a consciously chosen thought or emotion that leads to a conscious action.
A reaction is an unconscious thought or emotion that leads to unconscious actions.
Responding takes a optimistic, hopeful attitude to calm you down and let you see the bigger picture. Being reactionary is often the result of a pessimistic or negative attitude.
Pessimism is linked to decreases in overall healthiness, increased rates of depression, higher medication use, doctors visits and mental health needs. A negative attitude decreased memory and cognitive function with age and, overall, shortens life span.
Makes perfect sense to me.
In The Harvest Method's rationale, a bad attitude is, simply, a sickness.
Since responses are conscious, you have a choice and a myriad of opportunities to follow every time you respond. The unconscious habit of reacting...that leaves you without a choice, without a means to shift and with (from those stats I just shared) a pretty dismal, depressing and short life ahead of you.
Your attitude, if not consciously cultivated, is causative of the experiences of loss, regret, anxiety, catastrophic thinking, failure...proving your negative outlook.
Attitude links the brain, emotions and immune system via nerves, chemicals and hormones.
How you respond or react in your thoughts and emotions sends a message to the immune system that up or down regulates its activity. A depressed immune system results from negative stimuli. Increased immune function results from...you guessed it, positive stimuli. A good attitude not only feels good, it keeps your body WELL.
The best way to determine your attitude isn't in the way you a perceived in your response or reaction. It's in the way you explain what's happening in your day to day.
Your explanatory style = your attitude.
So let's say something undesirable happens...
How you explain the event in regards to the 3 P's (Permanence, Pervasiveness and Personalization) are the best indicator of your attitude.
"It's just the way things go" - PESSIMISTIC
"This too shall pass" - OPTIMISTIC
"This always happens to me" - PESSIMISTIC
"This happened...this time" - OPTIMISTIC
"It's my fault" - PESSIMISTIC
"It's out of my control" - OPTIMISTIC
And, contrary to the above, when a desirable event occurs...
"I am a lucky gal" - OPTIMISTIC
"I got lucky this time" - PESSIMISTIC
"I always get what I deserve" - OPTIMISTIC
"At least they recognized me this time" - PESSIMISTIC
"I do great work" - OPTIMISTIC
"I couldn't have done this alone" - PESSIMISTIC
If you're optimistic about Permanence and Pervasiveness, you possess the holy grail of a positive life - hopefulness.
If you're pessimistic in both P's = stress, anxiety, depression...falling apart
If you're always blaming yourself or giving everyone else credit when credit is due, your self-esteem plummets. Taking responsibility for your role in all that you're a part of and acknowledging yourself when you are the source of positive things allows for a healthy self-esteem and an ability to grow in your potential.
Here are 7 ways you can shift out of the negative Nellie's into a happier, fuller, more optimistic pattern.
- Think about it for yourself. Honor where you could improve your attitude and consciously choose to return to your natural state of optimism.
- Become aware of your internal dialogue. It takes conscious effort to create positive self-talk in your unconscious.
- Ask Positive Questions - What am I grateful for? What can I learn from this? What am I committed to? What about this experience moves me forward?
- Practice Positive Affirmations - Be as if it is vs. As if it will be. Speak in the NOW about how optimistic you want to be. Faking it until you make it is crucial to an actualized, potent life.
- Set Positive, Attainable Goals - Aim for things you will do, be or have vs. things you'll stop/overcome. Make them specific and incremental.
- Practice Positive Visualizations - Describe, journal and imagine as if what you want to be, do or have IS.
- Laugh - Look for the humor in it all and downplay the seriousness.
Remember, it's not what happened. when you tell your story, the important part is who you were and what you did with what happened.
Check out and share my Steller Story on these 7 steps here.