Pleased vs happy
Pleased...pleasure...is a means to appease. One can be pleased. The other side of that coin is based on some old hurt, something rotting in there. Some way you just aren't expressed and, really, you're a little dead. Without going deep to heal that pain, pleasure is completely external. It's seeking. It's numbing and avoiding. When we heal the wound. When we feel the way we feel about whatever it is we hold on to deep down inside, we get to see that, that past experience, where something may have made us feel abandoned, rejected, hated, unwanted, unworthy or insufficient...we can get past it. Back then, whatever it was hurt so bad we really did think we'd die if we felt it. We really did think we were in danger, a limb might fall off, we might actually be left to fend for ourselves. That's a pretty logical fear to a wee one. Because, then, we had no experience of that kind of suffering. Because then, we really did need someone to take care of us, teach us, nourish us and assist us in growing.
Now, it's all you.
And that's a wonderful thing.
All that hurt...you're keeping going because that fear inside still seems so HUGE.
BUT...when you really go there, when you really cry those uncried tears, when you really mourn the feeling you had all that time ago...it gets released.
You see it's not so dangerous. Hell, even if you did lose a limb, you're pretty darn good at living, you'd figure it out AND with that release having happened, you'd thrive...even in that crazy a case.
When we seek out pleasure without being with the real pain, we mask that pain, we numb out, and we lose touch. We consistently run from ourselves, the ones in there that are dying to be out here, seeing the world through your wide, beautiful eyes.
Happiness is a state of being that spontaneously occurs when we've remembered, felt the hurt, and let go.
It takes something. Really, it does. It's time to be super brave when you go in there with yourself to get this stuff out.
When you're ready, stop to think...
Have you ever worked extremely hard to get something, win an award, get acknowledged, or be seen and then, the moment after that recognition, you were out to accomplish the next task?
That's seeking pleasure. Pleasure in success...pleasure in winning. Happiness is acknowledging the little wins, the learning from the bumps in the road and the soothing when things don't go as planned.
Have you ever spent a little too much time with a partner, blindly ignoring the discomfort and insecurity you feel around them, saying you liked the thrill of the chase, the passion and lust, the hot and cold...and when you get their attention, when you feel like affection and intimacy...you are absolutely swept away?
That's seeking pleasure.
Pleasure in the ecstasy of getting the hard to get. Pleasure in, for a moment, feeling wanted. Pleasure in being seen and adored, no matter how fleeting, by someone who "never falls".
Happiness is learning a partner and letting them learn you. Opening up that part of yourself that feels a little broken or dead and having someone love that version of you...and every other one...and not being afraid to get closer.
And when you deal with all those inner hurts that keep you from finding your happiness, pleasure is so much more fun.
It's of course allowed!
Nobody is keeping you from the fun in winning or achieving or getting a little sassy with your sexy side.
Seriously, nobody minds (and, if they do...that's them showing you their own inner pain).
It's just where it comes from that's so worth the look. Be pleased as often as you like
But, first, strive to get happy.
Strive to own your heart and let it beat with glee out of your chest...when you're sweeping the kitchen floor.
Yeah, strive for that kind of happy.
Where absolutely anything can bring you joy.
Strive to let go of the unhappy. Stay away from putting a bandaid on it and give yourself the warmth of a really deep hug in knowing what you need and who you really are.