I've fallen into a trap many times.This trap I speak of is one that only a recovering perfectionist like myself could fall into.
PSA! Current State of affairs: There are oodles of perfectionists out there, many of which who won't admit it, many of which who are afraid to let it go and many of which who, definitely, are not recovering. There's actually, somewhere in each and every one of us, some version of a perfectionist. The level you act on it lines right up with the level at which you choose to love yourself.
Promise <---- you have my word that's what's so.
I start this entry with that statement so we can all agree to honor ourselves and listen from healing.
we've acknowledged you, ms or mr perfectionist, you don't have to get all loud and override the other side of him or her that's reading...we see you, OK?
OK. We begin...
Most often "doing what it takes" coincides with some empowerment for success or some commercial for Gatorade or Under Armor ---- Super coaching for WINNING!!!!! That IS doing what it takes. It is. It's meant to inspire you, encourage you, and make you feel supported to go out there and get what you want.
You don't hear it as encouragement.
Granted, there are many people who need a push and coaching and to be "herded" (which usually occurs like what herding a bunch of cats would look like), to actually show up and do what they say they are going to do. Those people need that "do what it takes" inspiration.
This is not about that.
This is about "doing what it takes" to heal, honor, respect and love yourself.
Here's the deal.
Woody Allen got quoted once. He said "80% of success is showing up".
He's probably right, or close, I'd beg to guess it's closer to 95%.
This is what you don't get: The reason why it's 80-95? Because about 99% of people don't show up. Seriously, they just don't.
It's not a "bad" thing. It's not a judgment. It's just the way it is.
I'm into begging to guess today. So, here's my second guess - if you are really reading this post with your fullest attention, you're part of the 1% who does.
You show up. You do your due diligence. You put your best foot forward. You get it done.
And when you don't, you are the sorriest, most apologetic, self-deprecating person, in that moment, on this earth.
FYI: people know you show up. They can't deny it. They aren't giving up on you. They aren't leaving. They aren't even disappointed (well, unless they're pretending to be intimidated by you and looking for something to bring you down to the level they think they are on). All that giving up, leaving, and being disappointed that you think of others, that's YOU giving up, abandoning and disappointing yourself.
This is where you join the "no show"-ers.
You don't show up for yourself. Knock it off.
You're amazing. Really, you are.
I'm not typing it again.
You're going to do every last thing you say you'll do.
How about adding loving yourself, in every moment, to that list?
If you're late, honor yourself by looking to see where you're overextending yourself or getting stuck losing time practicing negative self talk.
If you forget, soothe yourself and set yourself up with a reminder so you get to remember next time and show up as yourself, not this angsty aggressive forceful thing you become behind closed doors...when you're talking to yourself.
If you don't "get it right", acknowledge what you've learned. Imagine yourself before you started, look where you are now, give yourself a hug and...start again.
Do what it takes to love you. Go against that loud ass voice that tells you more More MORE. Stop and see. Really....look.
ADMIRE who you are.
You don't need to push harder. You don't need to reprimand yourself. You don't need to rub your nose in every last "failure".
Whatever you do is more than enough. You don't HAVE to do a thing AND... everyone is elated, excited and grateful when you show up.
My final beg to guess for today: You, yourself will be the most elated, excited and grateful when you show up for yourself.
So do what it takes.